Living and loving!

QoTD

2011-07-15T00:50:00.001-04:00

What did people do before Facebook?

Kisses

2011-05-04T01:24:00.002-04:00

We kissed. Not the best I ever had, but definitely not the worst.

Seller went with a cash buyer.

It is hot.

Maybe I'll find a place on Thursday.

Too many weddings this year.

Weekend

2011-05-01T01:25:00.003-04:00

Had dinner with you. Saw fast five as well. Was a good choice. Lots and lots of people stared at you. I mean, you probably weigh as much as two and half of me. It didn't help that I had on a very tight skirt and a ring. Got the "she-must-be-with-him-for-his-money look". Pretty funny how we judge people without knowing anything about them. Life definitely ain't fair.

Seller did not get back to me yet. I just might move in with you. I'll probably know come Monday. I think I am fine with either.

Found the African store. Why the hell was this store so tiny? I mean, come on, it was filled with people, you make money, yet you are cramped in this 10 by 10 space. Nigerians!!! Not sure if I'll go back there, but I might not have a choice. Time will tell.

Great day, I must say.

House hunting, settling

2011-04-29T23:25:00.002-04:00

Found a place. Not too bad. Put in an offer. Should hear something tomorrow.

My co worker has a big house and in the past six months, he has only been there for eight days. I might just move into his house and pay some rent. Or just pay back with food.

You got married a week after I was in Lagos and you didn't think you should tell me? Come on now. Why didn't you? I probably won't be your friend anymore. There's nothing left to talk about. Wishing you the best.

Work is going to be a challenge. Nobody likes change. Hopefully I'll win folks over with the smile. Can't count on that though.

New job

2011-04-25T22:44:00.001-04:00

The heat is killing me.

I need my own place, with a chef and a maid, please.

Got a bad headache.

Hopefully I will find a place in the next few weeks.

Too much going on.

1000 miles later

2011-04-21T21:48:00.002-04:00

Finally stopped after driving about 771 miles. Only stopped once, to get gas.

Why are there lots of adult stores along the highway?

Why didn't I detour on historic route 66?

Why do people stay on the left lane? Move on idiots, left lane is for passing!

Different kinds of billboards. Missouri sure loves Jesse James. Gotta do some research about him. Lots and lots of meramac cavern billboards. Probably saw about a hundred.

Think I have listened to all the songs I have. I'll have to find new ones.

Last lap tomorrow.

Wishing me God's speed!

571 miles to go

2011-04-19T22:07:00.004-04:00

Movers packed everything and now the house is empty. How time flies? First time home buyer, now first time home seller.

Now the hard work begins. Driving across the country starting tomorrow. Not looking forward to it, but I am ready for the challenge. Hopefully I can take pictures along the road.

Dreams

2011-04-17T22:12:00.002-04:00

It was your wedding day. I was in the church. We locked eyes for a second and there was sadness all over your face. Like you didn't want to be here, or why was I not the bride. I couldn't deduce why you were sad, but you were.

She is short and light skinned. Definitely a complete opposite of me. She was dragging you along, as you looked back. Maybe she had a mean look on, I can't remember. I bet she wasn't happy to see me though.

Called you and you said, "what if I told you I got married two years ago"? I replied, "I'll be sad that you didn't tell me, but congratulate you". Then we went on and on. Told you about the dream. You said it was a sad story. I said, "good thing is, it's just a dream".

Wishing you more happiness and joy.

Almost finished packing my personal stuff in my room. Hopefully I'll be 90% done by the time the movers show up tomorrow morning.

Found a letter you wrote me when we were still "rock solid". I must have really hurt you. Glad you have a wife now. I'll forgive myself some day.

Going away party Part 1

2011-04-17T03:25:00.002-04:00

Great time tonight. Lots of drunk people. Fun continues on Monday.

Last Day

2011-04-16T00:18:00.002-04:00

Woke up this morning giving thanks to the Almighty. In the last six years, I have moved three times, to three different and diverse states. I have learned a lot. Met great people, experienced awesome things.

This job has afforded me luxuries and comforts, that I will be forever grateful for. I have bought a house, bought my dream car, adopted two cats, above all, I have been able to contribute and give back to the community. My old company taught me how to not only say, but do. For this, I will forever be grateful.

Now a new chapter awaits in the coming weeks. Here is to hoping and praying that the next path brings even more happiness and joy.

Goodbye Lunch

2011-04-14T19:39:00.002-04:00

Goodbyes are so hard. Leaving old friends, your home, your base, to move somewhere else and start all over. It's hard.

"... you are very eclectic and interesting person."

"Besides frightening/intimidating me on a frequent basis, thank you for everything you have done for me..."

"... although we had our differences, I thank you for all the things you helped me with..."

"You are such an exciting person to be around..."

Some of the few words written in my goodbye card.

Lots of tears at the lunch table. I will definitely miss alot of folks.

Cont.

2011-04-13T20:24:00.002-04:00

One more room to paint. Lots of trash to throw away.

I am tired. Can't wait for Friday to be here. Massage, pampering, then party on Saturday.

Moving is stressful!

The Journey - Ramblings

2011-04-12T21:34:00.003-04:00

Started about a month ago. Resume posted, check. Job applications, check. Recruiters calling, check. Prayed to God to get job offer by birthday, check and done.

Moving is stressful, depending on where you are moving to, I guess. From cloudy, gloomy weather to sun and more sun weather? I'll take the latter! Walls painted, check. Cabinets fixed, check. Cleaning done? No check here. I hate scrubbing and cleaning. 1-800-Maids here I come. I must have a lazy gene in me.

Small house or big house? Don't see any need for a big house. But the price is right? Yes, it is right, but it's just you and Oya, why do you need 2,000 sq ft? Hmmm, good question. Ok, small house it is. At least, until I tour the houses. Pictures could be deceiving.

I hope my craigslist landlady is not crazy. I will soon find out. Need a plan B, if she is indeed crazy.

Unchecked, food packing, clothes packing, stuff the movers can't take. Tired today. Tomorrow is another day.

Random

2011-03-13T19:07:00.004-04:00

Move coming soon. So much to do, such little time.

Six down to three. Hopefully down to one before May 1st.

My body is mine. Leave it alone, Texas governor.

From 23F to 101F. Bring it on!

Living and loving this awesome life!

Giving thanks for:

2010-11-25T13:22:00.000-05:00

Great health.

Awesome friends.

Family.

YouTube.

GPS.

Job.

Day 2 - Cramp Beater

2010-09-14T17:38:00.000-04:00

2 kiwi fruits
2 apples
3/4 in root ginger, peeled and chopped.

Remove kiwi fruits skin. Chop the apple. Add all three together and blend.

The book calls for juicing, but I am all for the fiber and everything. I blended everything, including the apple seeds.

It was thick and smoothie-like. I had to use a spoon. The ginger gave it some spice.

Nutritional value: Vitamins A, B3 and C, potassium, sodium, pectin, tannin and malic acid.

Smoothies and Juices

2010-09-13T19:15:00.000-04:00

Got over 120 recipes in this book (Smoothies and Juices edited by Clare Haworth-Maden) and I plan to make a drink every day.

Today: Pink Pineapple
Quarter of a pineapple
1 orange (a blood orange will add an even deeper color)
5 oz strawberries.

Put all in a blender and blend until smooth.

Enjoy!

Some nutritional value: Vitamins A, B complex, B6, potassium.

I like this drink. Glad I started with something sweet.

Here's to 119 more!

Maybe I should write

2010-08-18T21:42:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I hate you.
Yes, you.
Maybe, I will stop hating you
Can't guarantee it though
You have no clue
You are absolutely clueless
So why should I not hate you
Give me one reason not to
You useless piece of shit.
Maybe I will stop hating you
Until then, here is to you,
Fuck off!

Plan A or B

2010-06-21T21:46:00.000-04:00

Hopefully in six months, I will know.

Fives

2009-12-25T15:40:00.000-05:00

Likes:
Sunny Ade on full blast
Old letters. Hand written ones
Fireplace
HGTV
Red shoes

Dislikes:
Obesere
Cards with no special notes
Electric furnace
MTV
Purple shoes

If I could...

2009-12-16T19:45:00.000-05:00

... design a man, he will be 6'5" tall. Weigh about 200lbs. A leftie. Can sketch/draw anything. He will have a great job. Be wonderful with a camera. Speak only when spoken to, not a class clown. Great listener. Be respectful. A big family to him, will be terrific. Above all, he will have a great set of teeth.

Here's my judgement.

2009-12-08T19:36:00.001-05:00

Punishment for cheating husbands? Death!

Fives

2009-12-01T17:18:00.000-05:00

Likes:
Oya - my lovely, sweet cat.
Room temperature set at 60F
Red cherry lipstick
Tiger's response
Efo riro with orisirisi

Dislikes:
Sango - my other cat. Oya's son. He crazy!
Negative degrees. I don't want to freeze
Purple lipstick
Aproko people. Mind your own business. Bunch of cheating idiots!
Ogbono soup

Raining men. CMDs.

2009-10-01T12:47:00.000-04:00

I remember http://minexclusively.blogspot.com/2007/10/too-picky-or-know-what-i-want.html entry. Written two years ago. Men, did I get some colorful comments. Some guy said he felt sorry for me and extended his condolences in advance. Another said he didn’t read all the way, but he had two options, either I am joking or I am a lesbian. My reply to the former, thanks and I accepted his condolences. The latter, I am just getting to read his comment.

So let’s have a re-cap. I am still happily single. Have seven serious eligible suitors to choose from. You know, growing up we were told, “oh, when you turn 26, no man will want you, so you better stick with the one you have”. Or “oh, your pool will shrink, because men only want younger women”, and this and that. So here is the question, why the hell am I being chased? What’s the problem here? How come I have more serious I-want-to-marry you men? I mean, my hope is by now, there will be only one miserable man left and I’ll have no choice but to marry him, since I don’t want to die an old maid.

I mean, I have heard everything from, your CMDs are stupid, to you will die an old maid, to no Nigerian man wants a controlling, bitter, head bitch in charge(HBIC).
Something must be wrong with these men around me. I am so sure about that. What do they see? Can’t they see that I am bitter and controlling and generally a HBIC? Wanna hear a secret? It is because I am none of those things. I am a nice person and I do not make any apology for being a nice person. I do not try to tell people how to live their lives. I don’t pretend to know everything. Heck, I just live my life the best way I can and stay happy. So my friends and frenemies, that’s the secret. That’s why it is raining men around me.

I have never believed that a woman should settle. I don’t believe you should spend 40, 50 or even 60 years of your life with someone that you know deep down you didn’t want. Divorcing is not an option for me. Guess what, you can lie to him and others, but you can’t lie to yourself. At the end of the day, we all just want to be happy. That’s why we work, that’s why we exercise, eat right and pray to marry/end up with the right person. The person that you want, not the person you get. Heck, there are people married to the greatest love of their life. Based on what? On, how the person made them feel. Or my parents approved of him or my friends like him and he is cute. The best one, “I won’t end up like her, at least I’ll be married before I turn 30”. And how many of these people are happily married or even married now? I have found out that my friends that didn’t have so many worries about marriage, knew what they wanted and stuck to it and they are the ones happily married. The ones that had a deadline are the ones either cheating on their spouses or already getting a divorce. Now don’t get me wrong, you should definitely have a plan/date in mind. But settling because of a deadline or age? That’s something I will never do. I’ll never suggest that you marry someone based on your fear of ending up an old maid. You know who turn into old maids? People that ain’t realistic. People that are bitter even when alone. People that can’t see the good in anything. These are the people that turn into old maids and no man wants to marry them. If you ain’t Halle Berry, don’t expect to find Will Smith knocking at your door. That aint real. Be realistic!

In conclusion, yes I have my cmds. Yes I am single. Yes I have seven men to choose from. And no, I will not settle. Age or what have you; will not let me change my mind on my core cmds. I have them for a reason.

On that note, take care. Be happy. Do what makes you happy and above all, be nice to yourself and others!

Living and definitely loving my awesomely magnificent life!

Reasons I can't move to Nigeria.

2009-09-25T08:04:00.000-04:00

Maybe this will make me blog more often. Needless to say this is just my opinion. I believe that people that moved back to Nigeria, have or had a good reason to do so.

Reason 1:
You can't tell your boss he stinks. Jokingly or not.

Lesson of life

2009-08-02T20:47:00.000-04:00

As I walk through life:
I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. Very true!

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned that heroes are people who do what has to be done, when it needs to be done, regardless of consequences.

I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experience you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthday’s you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people who you aren’t related to, can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends, if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of minutes, by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

Truth

2009-06-01T11:38:00.000-04:00

Do we really like the truth? Really? Do we like knowing the truth? Or we just say it to make ourselves feel better. We have all heard the saying; the truth will/shall set you free. We also know the truth is usually bitter. So if truth is usually bitter, why would we want to know? I know I do not like bitter food or drinks, even though it might be healthy, I still don’t want to eat or drink it. So why do we like knowing the truth? Or why do we not like knowing the truth?

I believe the truth should be said at all time. Let’s have some examples, so a girl that weighs 175lbs puts on a top two sizes smaller. I mean, she is squeezing herself into this top. Now, she is your friend and she asks, how do I look in this? You know she looks ridiculous in it, do you go ahead and tell her that or you just smile and say, you look great? Now, let us put a new twist to this, this same girl has been trying to lose weight for about a year and you know she has been struggling to lose this weight. She is doing her best, though you think she could do more to lose the weight. Does that change your response? Do you really want to tell her the truth knowing it will hurt her or do you just lie your way out to make her feel good?

Another example, since I have started reading blogs, I have noticed a trend. Actually, it is not just blogging; I have noticed it in a lot of Nigerian forums/blogs. Someone writes something and you the reader strongly think that the person needs a slap on his/her face. You know that if you write the truth about how you feel, you might be labeled a hater. Heck, they might even start saying stuff about you. (I personally know a lot of bloggers and I have heard things). Now, do you just move along and not write a comment or you say, f it, I am going to say my mind. Ok, an example will help here. So I was reading a blog the other time, and this chic lied about something that was life-threatening. I personally did not think it was funny at all. I mean, I was livid like this was happening to me. Now, the first commentor on the blog, thought it was funny. His/her first word on the comment was LOL. Is she laughing because she thinks it is funny that someone just lied about something that could have killed another person or she is laughing because she is scared of speaking the truth? Did the writer write in her blog/diary so others can pat her in the back for a job well done, or she wrote to remind herself never to lie again? Reading the blog, I did not feel any kind of remorse from her. As a matter of fact, I think she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with what she did.

What is happening to our generation? Why is it so difficult to tell the truth? Why is it just so easy to lie? What happened to our conscience? Have we told so many lies, that we don’t even know how to tell the truth anymore? Or have we gotten away with a lot of lies, that we believe we can never be caught?

Here is one of my favorite sayings, if you will not tell me the truth, then don’t tell me at all. I am not a saint, but lying is one sin I find very hard to forgive. I believe you, I believe everything you say, I trust you, until you prove otherwise. I do not go snooping around to catch you in your lie, because I believe that the truth always, always, always come out at the end. You might think you are safe, but if it is something that I need to know and/or something that is life –threatening, then I will always find out.

Living and definitely loving my beautiful life. Won’t have it any other way!

Rich and romantic?

2009-05-19T12:08:00.001-04:00

Rich and romantic men

Men, those fine species of God creation! Let’s not lie to ourselves, ladies, we know how we feel when we have the attention of a fine man. Now, fine/handsome/good looking is relative. ‘Nuff said.

Anyone here saw the first episode of this season’s Bachelorette? Wow is all I can say. Never been a fan of white boys/men, but my o my! Those were some good looking men. If I wasn’t so in love with my culture, I will gladly go find me a white boy to date. Maybe date, but definitely not marry jare. I no want wahala.

That said, I have been noticing a new trend, Black/African ladies marrying white men. From my little research (if you can call it that sef), I seem to know more black/African men married to white women. Seems times are changing. I have no beef either way. I think us ladies are beginning to get really comfortable and realize that love can be found anywhere.

I have dated almost all the major races, Asian, Caucasian, Negro, and Hispanic. I have no problem dating outside of my race. As a matter of fact, it helps reaffirm my belief, that only a Nigerian man can be my husband. That said, I can say one thing that we all might have heard or read about over time, white men can/are romantic. I mean, someone practically worshipping you. Come on, who won’t feel on top of the world? It was weird in the beginning, because I do not think I am all that, but after a while, you get used to it. It is just the way they are. That is not to say, there ain’t crazy white men out there. Don’t get me wrong, Nigerian/African men can/are romantic as well. It just feels different. From a white man, it looks like he was born with it, from a black man, it looks like he is learning or trying. It just doesn’t feel the same.

That said, I love me my black men. Nigerian to be precise. No need to be sugarcoating things o jare. I am just too old to be politically correct. If you no like, no read, chikena.

Now there is another set of men that I have not been opportune to date yet. The ultra rich men. And by that, I mean men that actually worked to make their money. Not some governor’s son or some senator or some polithief. I mean, someone that did the work, used his brain, and he is bloody rich. Not a thosandanaire or someone that has to wake up and go to work at a specific time. I am talking about someone that goes to work when he wants to, doesn’t use drugs, and doesn’t throw his money everywhere, a simple, rich guy. I wonder on a scale of romance, where do these kinds of men fall? Are they equally as passionate with their women as they are with their job? Do they excel in relationships as much as they do their work? Do they take pride in their women? Just questions.

Anyways, enough of my rambling, I am sure in five years, I will come back here and be like, what the heck was I thinking writing this.

I had a totally different post in mind, but this just seemed appropriate after watching the bachelorette for the first time.

Like always, living and loving my awesomely delicious life!

Six months...

2009-05-18T23:04:00.000-04:00

Wow it's been six months I posted. I have a post in my head. I'll be sure to post it tomorrow. Maybe I can be consistent in blogging. Seriously doubt that.

As always, living and definitely loving!

34A? 34B? 34C?

2008-11-18T19:33:00.000-05:00

Ok, I am officially fat. Yes, I said it, me, lepa shandy is officially an orobo. Ok here is the story:

I got to America some seven years ago. I jumped on the scale and I weighed 135lbs (61.3kg). The reason? I noticed how skinny people come to this country from Nigeria and in about 3 months, they become obese. I wanted to prove my fellow country people wrong. Actually, after about six months of being here, I had people asking me if I wasn't eating the American burger and the likes, cos I was still considered thin.

In college, I worked full time and took 22 credit hours. Now, to most Nigerians 22 credit hours aint nothing, but believe me 22 credit hours as a senior in engineering is no joke. Here, they expect you to spend at least 3 hrs every day on each class. I dropped down to 115lbs (52kg). That is extremely underweight for my height. I stand 5ft 11inches and I have medium bone. My BMI was so low, I had to start consuming more calories just to bring my weight up. After college in 2005, I gained about 5lbs. Then, I moved around a little bit. I did not like my job location, so I moved to another city. Now in the new city and I love my job and my house and all. Here is the problem, I am so in love with my job and all, that I have started to pack on the pounds. Right now, I weigh a whopping 149lbs (68kg), borderline 150lbs. See, I am fat. But therein lies the problem, everyone I know say I am still skinny. I mean, I have gained 15lbs since I got into this country. Now, the ideal weight for my height is about 155-165lbs. I know I still have a long way to get to that, but I am so not skinny!

Now to the title, the weight I have gained, have gone to the right places, if I can say so myself. When I started wearing bra, I started with a size 34A, then I increased it to a 34B now, my people, I wear a 34C. This is so not right. I have a lot of 34Bs, what will I do with them all? Tell me o. Cos I have some really nice 34Bs. Me, I will still squeeze inside them. Norring do me. The rest of the weight went to my butt. I mean, I work in a male dominated place and I could see the stares. It doesn't help that I am black too, in a white environment. I know someone that is not complaining about the booty sha, but me I am o. Now, I can't wear a skirt, without the thing sticking out. I have to even increase my clothe size from a 2/4 to now a 6 or 8, thanks to the booty.

Anyho, its all good. Now I have updated! I had to update, cos I read Oluwadee's blog and she was commenting about "undergarments" (that word just crack me up). What happens to underwear? Britico people never seem to amaze me.

Living and definitely loving. Nothing do you!

To curse or not to curse?

2008-09-29T16:08:00.000-04:00

I am so sorry for not updating. I am lazy, aint nothing new about that. Forgive me.

So, lets talk about the topic. To curse or not to curse? I am a great believer in cursing Nigerian politicians, up to their sixth generations. I refuse to make friends with kids of politicians. I know someone that I will never date. I told him, there is no way in hell I would date him, simply because his dad was/is a politician. I know how many people have rained curses on him. Even me sef, I have. So why on earth will I want to fi ori ko epe (collect curse for my head)?

Someone asked me how that is the politician’s fault. Ok, here is the scenario, as the governor of a state, you decided to steal all the money and put it in your account. You refused to pay civil servants their salaries. Now, a child is brought to the hospital, her parents both work for Ministry of Miserable, they haven’t been paid for six months. The hospital is not fully equipped and it took about 4 hours before they were acknowledged. At this point the child is dead. She died of common stomach ache. Now, who is at fault? The parents for wanting a treatment for their kid? The hospital staffs that were nowhere to be found? Or the governor that decided to better his life and the life of his family alone? If the parents rain curses on the governor and his six generations to come, are they justified? If they say, may the governor never know peace and may all the kids that are their kid’s age, die, are they justified? Probably. When you are in pain, and the pain could have been deviated, if something was done on time, you will definitely feel like cursing any and everybody that could have fixed that problem.

What we sow, we will surely reap. For all the kids that did not go to school, because your dad used the money to send you to school in America; for all the parents that could not afford food, because your mother used their salaries to get a tummy tuck; for all the young men that died from joining bad groups because they couldn’t get a job and have been unemployed for years. For all of these people that all they did was to be unfortunate to be born in Nigeria and your parents caused them agony, may your parents and the next six generations, know agony and may peace never reign in you abode.

NYSC

2008-07-23T16:07:00.000-04:00

Lets talk about NYSC.

I am yet to serve. I finished college in 2005 and the idea of going to Nigeria to serve for a year, did not come to mind. Now, I am thinking of going into politics later in life. Why you might ask? Because I am tired of sitting on the side and watching these lunatics we call leaders, do nothing. I figure, why not try to get inside and see for myself, what the big deal is. If and when I get there, hopefully I will be allowed to make the necessary changes and not be killed or something. Not to worry, I will get back to you all on the happenings.

Now, on the issue of NYSC, I want to serve in Akwa Ibom or Oyo, definitely no Lagos or Abuja. Lived in Lagos for 20 years. Think I have enough of the state. Abuja is quite expensive, so I heard. I am not trying to go broke, just because I want to serve Nigeria. Why Ak? I have heard a lot of good things about the place, so I guess I can go check it out myself. I love peace and quiet. Hope I’ll get it there. Why Oyo? I am from Oyo State. I intend to start my politics from there. On that, I have a question, if I marry someone from Imo State, and I want to contest for a seat in the house, do I represent my home town or my husband’s?

I could go to the far North, but I hate heat. I passionately hate heat. I refuse to move to the south (Texas, Louisiana and co), just because of the heat. Plateau State, mainly Jos, will be a great place. It’s cool and I have friends there.

If you have gone back home to serve or if you are currently serving, (shout out to Nilla), please kindly share your experience with us. Is it really worth it? I intend to move back to the States when I am done. I do not plan to stay behind in Nigeria. Unless some rich man hook me. Just kidding.

Thanks for stopping by.

Living. Loving? That's questionable at this time. Hopefully tori go change in the next post.

WOW!

2008-06-19T23:32:00.000-04:00

Loving the song playing. Found it on a wedding website.

Better update before the end of the month.

Living and definitely loving.

46 down to just 3. Yayyyy!

Volunteering

2008-05-10T17:33:00.000-04:00

How many of you take time out of your business schedules to volunteer an hour or two for a worthy cause? If you do, great job. I really think it is a great thing to do.

I remember when my sister was between jobs and she was going on how bored she was and what not. I asked her if she had ever been to an orphanage. See, my sister is in Nigeria and I am not. I don’t think the average Nigerian either residing in Nigeria or elsewhere, do a lot of volunteering. It is not because we don’t want to, we just were not brought up like that. We would rather go to church seven times in a week, than for example, go the orphanage down the road and simply read to the kids or paint the walls or something.

Here is a challenge to anyone that reads this, how about you spend an hour or two each month volunteering. Believe me, you will feel good about it. People ask me why I am never bored, trust me, I am never bored. There are a lot of things to do; volunteering is one of those things. Ok, enough about my campaign. LOL.

This weekend, my church hosted the world vision aids experience exhibition. It is kinda difficult to explain, but I will try. It’s a story of four kids living in Africa; Lesotho, Swaziland, Kenya and Uganda. You get to go through a child’s life, what he/she does on a daily basis, how they live, where they live, what happens to their parents etc. At the end of the walk-through, you step into the health clinic to get tested for HIV. You get a red positive sign on the back of your hand, if the child is HIV+ or a black negative sign, if HIV-. Two of the kids tested positive, two don’t. It is so touching and you just have to take yourself out of your own world and step into these kids lives. It is nothing you have experienced before. It is very emotional.

Some of the facts, about 46% of the population in Swaziland have the virus. It is estimated that in our life time, the entire country will cease to exist. Can you imagine, everyone in Oyo State wiped off in your life time? Can you do something? Yes, you can. You can sponsor a child in these countries. Your donation will provide food, education etc for this child.

Africans, Nigerians, this is time we start doing something and stop the plain ass talking. Believe me, that $2500 shoe or bag, will not make you as happy as you think it will. Helping to put a smile on a child’s face is way more rewarding. Take a moment to think about it. Pray about it (you all know we can pray) and do something. Don’t just help with prayers, help with food in their stomach, and help with clean clothes on their backs. I am sure they will be very grateful for all your help.

Above all, get tested. There aint no black or red ink on anyone’s hand for you to know who is positive or negative.

Thanks for stopping by.

Living and definitely loving, in an awesomely beautiful way.

I dey come

2008-04-24T18:21:00.000-04:00

I should update, right? Ok, I will. Very soon.

Living and definitely loving.

Answer

2008-03-24T15:41:00.000-04:00

Question of the day, how do you go about choosing "the one" out of 26?

Answer: You don’t. You just don’t make up your mind. One by one, they’ll leave and hopefully when you are 35 and ready to get married, only one will remain, and that will automatically be “the one”. Just kidding.

I do have 33 guys that can be “the one”. Twenty-six of the guys like me and have made their feelings known. Fourteen are automatically disqualified. Read this post "Too picky or know what I want". Seven guys I do like, five automatically disqualified, once again read this post. ‘Nuff said.

Just got back from a busy weekend. I was the maid of honor/chief bridesmaid at my cousin’s wedding. It was a very busy one. More like a family reunion. Fun time. I don’t think I have ever heard my name called so much. Lady B this, Lady B that. Somehow, they all thought I had answers to all the questions.

The bridal party actually stood throughout the church service. I mean, I was standing on 4 inch heel sandal for about an hour and half. Mehn, the thing no easy o. Me? Na boot I dey wear every day o. I am still in pain sef. Don’t get me wrong, I do rock my high heels (which I shouldn’t, considering my height), but not to stay in one position for about 90 minutes.

Trust Nigerians, everything was done late. Wo, I no even fit gist una about the wedding sef. Just glad it went all great. Happy married life to them.

Now to the koko gist. Y’all know how family gatherings are. Everybody wants to know when you are getting married and all that. My family is no exception. Aunties all want to know when I will get married. Ok, the conversation usually goes like this:

Aunty: So, Lady B, when are you getting married?
Lady B: September 2011.
Aunty: 2011 bawo? Why 2011?
Lady B: You asked when I am getting married, and I told you.
Aunty: 2011 ti pe ju o. (2011 is too far)
Lady B: Says who? You asked for when, I told you. Do you want me to move it to 2016?
Aunty: Iwo omo yi, oni pe mi. (You this child, you’ll not kill me)
Lady B: No o, I don’t want to kill you o.
Aunty: So, why 2011? Se oko ni ko si ni? (Is it that there is no man?)
Lady Bi: Aunty, ni America? Ofe ni okunrin o. (Men are free o).
Aunty and Lady B start to laugh. End of discussion.

Now imagine me doing this with ten different aunties. Funny thing is, my parents aint worried. They don’t even bother me, because they know when I am ready, I am ready. Nothing fit stop me. Mounting pressure on me, will not work. Guess my aunts did not get the memo.

I will do another post on why I know I am not ready to get married. Until then, keep well, live well and above all, be happy.

Living and loving my life!

Question of the day.

2008-03-18T20:19:00.001-04:00

Question of the day, how do you go about choosing "the one" out of 26?

I'll be back to expatiate.

Living and loving my life. Nothing do you or me!

Guinea Pig

2008-02-05T19:49:00.000-05:00

What’s up people? Long time, I know. I am just a lazy writer o jare. I do have a lot to talk/write about, just a tad lazy. Actually, my friends will argue otherwise, I am very very lazy. Lazy to the point that left to me, I will have a maid. Yes, a maid in the big US of A. Remember o, I am single with no kids and I only work Monday to Friday. 7-4.30pm. Wo, no judge me o jare. At least me, I know what I am, u nko?

Ok, to the real issue at hand. I am sure a lot of us have friends or have heard about someone doing something like calling a girl(guy) that is a friend of their boyfriend or girlfriend and threatening them and all. You know the one girl that your boyfriend is spending time with and you just don’t like her and you want to warn her off him. Ok, so I was thinking, what really goes on in the heads of those girls that do the calling and the ones that are being called. I mean, if a girl calls me to leave her man alone or something like that, I will not even bother exchanging words or give her the time of the day, I’ll just simply hang up, delete the guy's number and that’s the end of it. Now the girl will probably think she won and she scared me off. If only she knows that, that is far from the truth. See the thing here is, I don’t like wahala. I have a pretty great life that I hate, I mean I wholeheartedly hate drama. I will simply stop talking to the said guy, because I hate drama and for a friend of mine to have a girl that will stoop so low to call me and curse me out, then he definitely does not deserve to be called my friend.

Ok, let me give you an example. So last year two of my friends got together. In the beginning life was good, until things started happening. See the guy(J) likes women abi na the other way round. Anyhow, they started having problems. They live in different part of the country and so it was more of a phone relationship and they see once or twice in a month or something like that. One day she(H) got a call from a CG (crazy girl) that was chasing after the guy (according to the story he told me later) and CG was cursing her out and threatening her and stuff. Me, I told her to kuku leave the guy o. See, I have known J for a long time and I did not think he had such people around him. I did not even wait for him to give me an explanation of what happened. Anyways, the girl (H) did not leave him, needless to say, they eventually broke up. Not because of CG but for some other reason. Now, me, I knew they were eventually going to break up. I mean, come on now, how can you stay with someone that sat down, let CG take his phone, found your number, called you, not once or twice, but a lot of time, threaten you right where he is and the most he can say is, I could not do anything to her because I did not want wahala. I mean, is it me or do I just expect too much from the male folks?

Ok , digressing again, not really though. Just building foundation for the real gist. Now, if H had left him then, I am sure CG would have felt like she won and felt good about herself right? And she not leaving, CG probably felt sad or ashamed or humiliated? Because the guy still picked H over her? I mean, people help me here. I am trying to understand these things. So, in order to know for a fact how these girls or guys feel when they call someone to warn them off their girl or guy, I will be your guinea pig. Yes, I will send a mail or call a girl that is dating my ex and threaten her and get back to you on the feedback. Though I don’t know her number. Hmmm, how do I go about that one? Sending a mail is going to leave a paper trail and we know, we don’t want that. And moreover, calling will be more fun, because I can sound very angry and curse her out even better with my Americanized accent. What do you all think?

Seriously though, if you don’t mind sharing with us, could you tell us your experience, either as the caller or the callee. How did you feel? What were you thinking? How did you react? Did you talk it over with the guy/girl involved? I just want to know.

Thanks for reading. I promise not to stay away too long. Ok, I take that promise off. The only thing I can promise is that, I will always be happy and loving my life, no matter the situation. That’s it for now and thanks for stopping by.

Living and loving my life!

Too picky or know what I want?

2007-10-17T13:25:00.000-04:00

Too picky or know what I want.

Most people that I know say I am picky when it comes to men, that I don’t even give them a chance. The truth of the matter is that, I know from the beginning what would happen at the end. I see a guy and I know instantly if I want to be with him or not (marriage-wise). I am sure you are wondering how. I will let you into some things about me.
One – I don’t believe in falling in love. Two – I am not your average “mushy-lovey-dovey” gal. I have never been and I will never be. Three – I am a realist. I face reality and I have never operated in the ideal world before.

With all that known about me, I will tell you how I know from the get-go, if there will be a relationship or not with a guy. I have what’s called the 10 commandments. This is a list of things (qualities) that I look for in a guy that I will eventually call my husband. Some of the CMDs can be violated, some are fixed.
Not in any particular order of priority.
Religion – Christianity
Must be open to adoption
Physique – I stand 5ft 11inches and fit. ‘Nuff said.
Position in the family – last born, only son, first boy, only child – do not apply. Lol!
Education – at least a BSc in something relevant. Even if he is a businessman, he should have something marketable. It’s like a cushion. If business no go well, he can always dust out his certificate and get a job.
He must make more money than I do. I do not care if it is $5 more.
Must be teachable.
Must be Yoruba or at least understand the language and the culture.
He must be versatile – can go from politics to medicine to sports at ease
He must be quiet and gentle. I hate men that talk too much. I am a talkative on a good day. I can’t imagine being married to one.

Now that the mystery 10 CMDs have been revealed, I hope I did not disappoint any of you, by not including good looks and richer than Bill Gates. I sure hope not.

I did say some are non-negotiable. Not in any particular order, Religion, Culture, Education, Physique, Open to adoption and Quietness make the list. I will never ever compromise on those. I don’t care how many inter-tribal or inter-religion couples that you know that have it good or great. Me, as long as I live, will not marry anyone that does not have these qualities. You might ask, is that statement not too strong? I know it is. I believe in life, we get what we go out for. If you want to settle, it is easy to do so. I am not a settler. I get what I want. I will rather remain single, than compromise on those qualities. I have plan to adopt next year.

It is quite open to all now, how I know from the on-set if it will happen between a guy and myself. I can and I have dated a Muslim, I have dated someone that is completely against adoption (FYI- most Nigerians that I have met are), I have dated someone that is not even a Nigerian, not to talk of understanding the Yoruba culture. The keyword here is dated. I can date anything and anyone. Marriage is a different ball game. Once a guy starts to talk along that line, the 10 CMDs light comes on in my head.

Most people do not believe in just dating. They say you have to date someone that you can see yourself getting married to at the end. I say bullshit. I believe we meet people in life for one reason or the other. I have had and continue to have tons of fun with my exes. I have learnt a thing or two from each of them. I am glad I met them.

In conclusion, a friend asked me the other time, if I was going to marry a Nigerian. I responded in the positive. He went on to say, he thought I was open-minded and why was I excluding others. Simply because I know what I want in a husband, does that mean I am not open minded? Am I picky because I know exactly what I want?

Living and loving my life! Thanks for stopping by!

Can't Leave 'Em Alone

2007-08-25T22:30:00.000-04:00

I am feeling this song by Ciara feat. Fity - Can't Leave 'Em Alone. It's like I have never heard it before. It is on auto replay. I just love it.

Now, I need to go find me a corporate thug. Wonder what the definition of a corporate thug is? Ok, here is a brief definition:
He is street smart,
He is intelligent,
He can hold down a good job,
He can speak right,
He can hold his own,
He can fight, if it comes to that, to defend me.

Now, if there is a man like that out there, holla at a sista.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Small Still Voice

2007-08-15T09:25:00.000-04:00

Listen to the voice. That small still voice, listen to it. It can save you and keep you out of trouble. I know first hand. I am getting the reward or the punishment for not listening and it is nothing but ugly. It will get better though, I am sure about that. I have asked for guidance and direction from Him, on what to do and what to say.

Listen to that voice. It could save your behind.

Couch or Guest Room?

2007-08-09T10:14:00.000-04:00

Life is interesting. I was having some conversation with a couple of my friends and it seems we all have different view on this particular subject.

A little background story. I have a house mate or room mate or flat mate, (we’ll call him Yi), whatever it is called at your corner of the world. I did not know him until April 07. He has been living with me since then. I pay for everything, as he just arrived into the country and it takes a while to get all your paper work and stuff done. I do not mind paying for these things, because I will still have them bills, whether he is with me or not.

Now to the question at hand, I have a two-bedroom town home. Yi uses the other room, which is technically supposed to be my guest room. Now, if I have a guest, where should the guest sleep? On the couch in the living room or the guest room (Yi’s room)?

I say, my guest should sleep in the guest room and I will pleasantly tell Yi to move to the couch for the duration of the visit. It also depends on who the guest is and where he/she is coming from. I definitely would not have my friend coming from California, sleep on a couch or an airbed.

A good friend of mine said that is mean. That I am being mean to Yi. That if I don’t want my guest to sleep on a couch, that I should vacate my bed for the guest and go sleep on a couch. Now, the people that know me know very well, I don’t joke with my sleep and definitely love my bed. I am in love with my bed and so, I will definitely not vacate it, especially when there is another bed the guest can use.

So, let me have your opinion. What is the right thing to do?

Why do African men go to home to find their bride?

2007-07-27T12:52:00.000-04:00

I was reading some articles at work and I came across a website about Nigerians in America. One of the many articles on the site is about the title of this post.

This is the comment I left:

The average African man is a provider and protector. He desires to have a wife that is caring and nurturing. Now, that is something my fellow Nigerian-American ladies don't have. There is no equality in gender. Men are men for a reason, so are the women as well. Once, you start to make a man feel less than he is, you cripple him. A man, always want to feel like a man. That does not mean, he should be a dictator. Most women in the diaspora have been brainwashed about independence and strong. I use a different word, "interdependent" - knowing when to be dependent and when to be independent.

African ladies in UK and US, start making the men around you feel like a man and they'll not go to Africa to get married. African men in UK and US, start treating your sisters with respect. It's no wonder I have enough suitors. LOL. Just my two-cents.

Before the women think I am some gullible girl that just arrived from Africa, better recognize that I got more education than most of you, but I still understand what my roles are in a marriage. Don't get it twisted.

I think the article was written in 2005. Here is the link to the article.

Happy reading. Share your comments and opinion on this very interesting topic.

Introduction

2007-07-18T23:15:00.000-04:00

Not new to the blog world. Been reading for a long while now. Left a couple of comments on some blogs.

Just want to document things about my life. I find it a great pleasure, when I read old letters or diaries. It is always interesting reading about some things we did few years ago. Now though, they seem kinda weird to us. We sometimes don't even believe we did or said those things. This is what I intend to use this space for.

Have fun reading.