Answer

Question of the day, how do you go about choosing "the one" out of 26?

Answer: You don’t. You just don’t make up your mind. One by one, they’ll leave and hopefully when you are 35 and ready to get married, only one will remain, and that will automatically be “the one”. Just kidding.

I do have 33 guys that can be “the one”. Twenty-six of the guys like me and have made their feelings known. Fourteen are automatically disqualified. Read this post "Too picky or know what I want". Seven guys I do like, five automatically disqualified, once again read this post. ‘Nuff said.

Just got back from a busy weekend. I was the maid of honor/chief bridesmaid at my cousin’s wedding. It was a very busy one. More like a family reunion. Fun time. I don’t think I have ever heard my name called so much. Lady B this, Lady B that. Somehow, they all thought I had answers to all the questions.

The bridal party actually stood throughout the church service. I mean, I was standing on 4 inch heel sandal for about an hour and half. Mehn, the thing no easy o. Me? Na boot I dey wear every day o. I am still in pain sef. Don’t get me wrong, I do rock my high heels (which I shouldn’t, considering my height), but not to stay in one position for about 90 minutes.

Trust Nigerians, everything was done late. Wo, I no even fit gist una about the wedding sef. Just glad it went all great. Happy married life to them.

Now to the koko gist. Y’all know how family gatherings are. Everybody wants to know when you are getting married and all that. My family is no exception. Aunties all want to know when I will get married. Ok, the conversation usually goes like this:

Aunty: So, Lady B, when are you getting married?
Lady B: September 2011.
Aunty: 2011 bawo? Why 2011?
Lady B: You asked when I am getting married, and I told you.
Aunty: 2011 ti pe ju o. (2011 is too far)
Lady B: Says who? You asked for when, I told you. Do you want me to move it to 2016?
Aunty: Iwo omo yi, oni pe mi. (You this child, you’ll not kill me)
Lady B: No o, I don’t want to kill you o.
Aunty: So, why 2011? Se oko ni ko si ni? (Is it that there is no man?)
Lady Bi: Aunty, ni America? Ofe ni okunrin o. (Men are free o).
Aunty and Lady B start to laugh. End of discussion.

Now imagine me doing this with ten different aunties. Funny thing is, my parents aint worried. They don’t even bother me, because they know when I am ready, I am ready. Nothing fit stop me. Mounting pressure on me, will not work. Guess my aunts did not get the memo.

I will do another post on why I know I am not ready to get married. Until then, keep well, live well and above all, be happy.

Living and loving my life!

Question of the day.

Question of the day, how do you go about choosing "the one" out of 26?

I'll be back to expatiate.

Living and loving my life. Nothing do you or me!

Guinea Pig

What’s up people? Long time, I know. I am just a lazy writer o jare. I do have a lot to talk/write about, just a tad lazy. Actually, my friends will argue otherwise, I am very very lazy. Lazy to the point that left to me, I will have a maid. Yes, a maid in the big US of A. Remember o, I am single with no kids and I only work Monday to Friday. 7-4.30pm. Wo, no judge me o jare. At least me, I know what I am, u nko?

Ok, to the real issue at hand. I am sure a lot of us have friends or have heard about someone doing something like calling a girl(guy) that is a friend of their boyfriend or girlfriend and threatening them and all. You know the one girl that your boyfriend is spending time with and you just don’t like her and you want to warn her off him. Ok, so I was thinking, what really goes on in the heads of those girls that do the calling and the ones that are being called. I mean, if a girl calls me to leave her man alone or something like that, I will not even bother exchanging words or give her the time of the day, I’ll just simply hang up, delete the guy's number and that’s the end of it. Now the girl will probably think she won and she scared me off. If only she knows that, that is far from the truth. See the thing here is, I don’t like wahala. I have a pretty great life that I hate, I mean I wholeheartedly hate drama. I will simply stop talking to the said guy, because I hate drama and for a friend of mine to have a girl that will stoop so low to call me and curse me out, then he definitely does not deserve to be called my friend.

Ok, let me give you an example. So last year two of my friends got together. In the beginning life was good, until things started happening. See the guy(J) likes women abi na the other way round. Anyhow, they started having problems. They live in different part of the country and so it was more of a phone relationship and they see once or twice in a month or something like that. One day she(H) got a call from a CG (crazy girl) that was chasing after the guy (according to the story he told me later) and CG was cursing her out and threatening her and stuff. Me, I told her to kuku leave the guy o. See, I have known J for a long time and I did not think he had such people around him. I did not even wait for him to give me an explanation of what happened. Anyways, the girl (H) did not leave him, needless to say, they eventually broke up. Not because of CG but for some other reason. Now, me, I knew they were eventually going to break up. I mean, come on now, how can you stay with someone that sat down, let CG take his phone, found your number, called you, not once or twice, but a lot of time, threaten you right where he is and the most he can say is, I could not do anything to her because I did not want wahala. I mean, is it me or do I just expect too much from the male folks?

Ok , digressing again, not really though. Just building foundation for the real gist. Now, if H had left him then, I am sure CG would have felt like she won and felt good about herself right? And she not leaving, CG probably felt sad or ashamed or humiliated? Because the guy still picked H over her? I mean, people help me here. I am trying to understand these things. So, in order to know for a fact how these girls or guys feel when they call someone to warn them off their girl or guy, I will be your guinea pig. Yes, I will send a mail or call a girl that is dating my ex and threaten her and get back to you on the feedback. Though I don’t know her number. Hmmm, how do I go about that one? Sending a mail is going to leave a paper trail and we know, we don’t want that. And moreover, calling will be more fun, because I can sound very angry and curse her out even better with my Americanized accent. What do you all think?

Seriously though, if you don’t mind sharing with us, could you tell us your experience, either as the caller or the callee. How did you feel? What were you thinking? How did you react? Did you talk it over with the guy/girl involved? I just want to know.

Thanks for reading. I promise not to stay away too long. Ok, I take that promise off. The only thing I can promise is that, I will always be happy and loving my life, no matter the situation. That’s it for now and thanks for stopping by.

Living and loving my life!

Too picky or know what I want?

Too picky or know what I want.

Most people that I know say I am picky when it comes to men, that I don’t even give them a chance. The truth of the matter is that, I know from the beginning what would happen at the end. I see a guy and I know instantly if I want to be with him or not (marriage-wise). I am sure you are wondering how. I will let you into some things about me.
One – I don’t believe in falling in love. Two – I am not your average “mushy-lovey-dovey” gal. I have never been and I will never be. Three – I am a realist. I face reality and I have never operated in the ideal world before.

With all that known about me, I will tell you how I know from the get-go, if there will be a relationship or not with a guy. I have what’s called the 10 commandments. This is a list of things (qualities) that I look for in a guy that I will eventually call my husband. Some of the CMDs can be violated, some are fixed.
Not in any particular order of priority.
Religion – Christianity
Must be open to adoption
Physique – I stand 5ft 11inches and fit. ‘Nuff said.
Position in the family – last born, only son, first boy, only child – do not apply. Lol!
Education – at least a BSc in something relevant. Even if he is a businessman, he should have something marketable. It’s like a cushion. If business no go well, he can always dust out his certificate and get a job.
He must make more money than I do. I do not care if it is $5 more.
Must be teachable.
Must be Yoruba or at least understand the language and the culture.
He must be versatile – can go from politics to medicine to sports at ease
He must be quiet and gentle. I hate men that talk too much. I am a talkative on a good day. I can’t imagine being married to one.

Now that the mystery 10 CMDs have been revealed, I hope I did not disappoint any of you, by not including good looks and richer than Bill Gates. I sure hope not.

I did say some are non-negotiable. Not in any particular order, Religion, Culture, Education, Physique, Open to adoption and Quietness make the list. I will never ever compromise on those. I don’t care how many inter-tribal or inter-religion couples that you know that have it good or great. Me, as long as I live, will not marry anyone that does not have these qualities. You might ask, is that statement not too strong? I know it is. I believe in life, we get what we go out for. If you want to settle, it is easy to do so. I am not a settler. I get what I want. I will rather remain single, than compromise on those qualities. I have plan to adopt next year.

It is quite open to all now, how I know from the on-set if it will happen between a guy and myself. I can and I have dated a Muslim, I have dated someone that is completely against adoption (FYI- most Nigerians that I have met are), I have dated someone that is not even a Nigerian, not to talk of understanding the Yoruba culture. The keyword here is dated. I can date anything and anyone. Marriage is a different ball game. Once a guy starts to talk along that line, the 10 CMDs light comes on in my head.

Most people do not believe in just dating. They say you have to date someone that you can see yourself getting married to at the end. I say bullshit. I believe we meet people in life for one reason or the other. I have had and continue to have tons of fun with my exes. I have learnt a thing or two from each of them. I am glad I met them.

In conclusion, a friend asked me the other time, if I was going to marry a Nigerian. I responded in the positive. He went on to say, he thought I was open-minded and why was I excluding others. Simply because I know what I want in a husband, does that mean I am not open minded? Am I picky because I know exactly what I want?

Living and loving my life! Thanks for stopping by!

Can't Leave 'Em Alone

I am feeling this song by Ciara feat. Fity - Can't Leave 'Em Alone. It's like I have never heard it before. It is on auto replay. I just love it.

Now, I need to go find me a corporate thug. Wonder what the definition of a corporate thug is? Ok, here is a brief definition:
He is street smart,
He is intelligent,
He can hold down a good job,
He can speak right,
He can hold his own,
He can fight, if it comes to that, to defend me.

Now, if there is a man like that out there, holla at a sista.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Small Still Voice

Listen to the voice. That small still voice, listen to it. It can save you and keep you out of trouble. I know first hand. I am getting the reward or the punishment for not listening and it is nothing but ugly. It will get better though, I am sure about that. I have asked for guidance and direction from Him, on what to do and what to say.

Listen to that voice. It could save your behind.

Couch or Guest Room?

Life is interesting. I was having some conversation with a couple of my friends and it seems we all have different view on this particular subject.

A little background story. I have a house mate or room mate or flat mate, (we’ll call him Yi), whatever it is called at your corner of the world. I did not know him until April 07. He has been living with me since then. I pay for everything, as he just arrived into the country and it takes a while to get all your paper work and stuff done. I do not mind paying for these things, because I will still have them bills, whether he is with me or not.

Now to the question at hand, I have a two-bedroom town home. Yi uses the other room, which is technically supposed to be my guest room. Now, if I have a guest, where should the guest sleep? On the couch in the living room or the guest room (Yi’s room)?

I say, my guest should sleep in the guest room and I will pleasantly tell Yi to move to the couch for the duration of the visit. It also depends on who the guest is and where he/she is coming from. I definitely would not have my friend coming from California, sleep on a couch or an airbed.

A good friend of mine said that is mean. That I am being mean to Yi. That if I don’t want my guest to sleep on a couch, that I should vacate my bed for the guest and go sleep on a couch. Now, the people that know me know very well, I don’t joke with my sleep and definitely love my bed. I am in love with my bed and so, I will definitely not vacate it, especially when there is another bed the guest can use.

So, let me have your opinion. What is the right thing to do?