Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Too picky or know what I want?

Too picky or know what I want.

Most people that I know say I am picky when it comes to men, that I don’t even give them a chance. The truth of the matter is that, I know from the beginning what would happen at the end. I see a guy and I know instantly if I want to be with him or not (marriage-wise). I am sure you are wondering how. I will let you into some things about me.
One – I don’t believe in falling in love. Two – I am not your average “mushy-lovey-dovey” gal. I have never been and I will never be. Three – I am a realist. I face reality and I have never operated in the ideal world before.

With all that known about me, I will tell you how I know from the get-go, if there will be a relationship or not with a guy. I have what’s called the 10 commandments. This is a list of things (qualities) that I look for in a guy that I will eventually call my husband. Some of the CMDs can be violated, some are fixed.
Not in any particular order of priority.
Religion – Christianity
Must be open to adoption
Physique – I stand 5ft 11inches and fit. ‘Nuff said.
Position in the family – last born, only son, first boy, only child – do not apply. Lol!
Education – at least a BSc in something relevant. Even if he is a businessman, he should have something marketable. It’s like a cushion. If business no go well, he can always dust out his certificate and get a job.
He must make more money than I do. I do not care if it is $5 more.
Must be teachable.
Must be Yoruba or at least understand the language and the culture.
He must be versatile – can go from politics to medicine to sports at ease
He must be quiet and gentle. I hate men that talk too much. I am a talkative on a good day. I can’t imagine being married to one.

Now that the mystery 10 CMDs have been revealed, I hope I did not disappoint any of you, by not including good looks and richer than Bill Gates. I sure hope not.

I did say some are non-negotiable. Not in any particular order, Religion, Culture, Education, Physique, Open to adoption and Quietness make the list. I will never ever compromise on those. I don’t care how many inter-tribal or inter-religion couples that you know that have it good or great. Me, as long as I live, will not marry anyone that does not have these qualities. You might ask, is that statement not too strong? I know it is. I believe in life, we get what we go out for. If you want to settle, it is easy to do so. I am not a settler. I get what I want. I will rather remain single, than compromise on those qualities. I have plan to adopt next year.

It is quite open to all now, how I know from the on-set if it will happen between a guy and myself. I can and I have dated a Muslim, I have dated someone that is completely against adoption (FYI- most Nigerians that I have met are), I have dated someone that is not even a Nigerian, not to talk of understanding the Yoruba culture. The keyword here is dated. I can date anything and anyone. Marriage is a different ball game. Once a guy starts to talk along that line, the 10 CMDs light comes on in my head.

Most people do not believe in just dating. They say you have to date someone that you can see yourself getting married to at the end. I say bullshit. I believe we meet people in life for one reason or the other. I have had and continue to have tons of fun with my exes. I have learnt a thing or two from each of them. I am glad I met them.

In conclusion, a friend asked me the other time, if I was going to marry a Nigerian. I responded in the positive. He went on to say, he thought I was open-minded and why was I excluding others. Simply because I know what I want in a husband, does that mean I am not open minded? Am I picky because I know exactly what I want?

Living and loving my life! Thanks for stopping by!