Tuesday, November 18, 2008

34A? 34B? 34C?

Ok, I am officially fat. Yes, I said it, me, lepa shandy is officially an orobo. Ok here is the story:

I got to America some seven years ago. I jumped on the scale and I weighed 135lbs (61.3kg). The reason? I noticed how skinny people come to this country from Nigeria and in about 3 months, they become obese. I wanted to prove my fellow country people wrong. Actually, after about six months of being here, I had people asking me if I wasn't eating the American burger and the likes, cos I was still considered thin.

In college, I worked full time and took 22 credit hours. Now, to most Nigerians 22 credit hours aint nothing, but believe me 22 credit hours as a senior in engineering is no joke. Here, they expect you to spend at least 3 hrs every day on each class. I dropped down to 115lbs (52kg). That is extremely underweight for my height. I stand 5ft 11inches and I have medium bone. My BMI was so low, I had to start consuming more calories just to bring my weight up. After college in 2005, I gained about 5lbs. Then, I moved around a little bit. I did not like my job location, so I moved to another city. Now in the new city and I love my job and my house and all. Here is the problem, I am so in love with my job and all, that I have started to pack on the pounds. Right now, I weigh a whopping 149lbs (68kg), borderline 150lbs. See, I am fat. But therein lies the problem, everyone I know say I am still skinny. I mean, I have gained 15lbs since I got into this country. Now, the ideal weight for my height is about 155-165lbs. I know I still have a long way to get to that, but I am so not skinny!

Now to the title, the weight I have gained, have gone to the right places, if I can say so myself. When I started wearing bra, I started with a size 34A, then I increased it to a 34B now, my people, I wear a 34C. This is so not right. I have a lot of 34Bs, what will I do with them all? Tell me o. Cos I have some really nice 34Bs. Me, I will still squeeze inside them. Norring do me. The rest of the weight went to my butt. I mean, I work in a male dominated place and I could see the stares. It doesn't help that I am black too, in a white environment. I know someone that is not complaining about the booty sha, but me I am o. Now, I can't wear a skirt, without the thing sticking out. I have to even increase my clothe size from a 2/4 to now a 6 or 8, thanks to the booty.

Anyho, its all good. Now I have updated! I had to update, cos I read Oluwadee's blog and she was commenting about "undergarments" (that word just crack me up). What happens to underwear? Britico people never seem to amaze me.

Living and definitely loving. Nothing do you!

Monday, September 29, 2008

To curse or not to curse?

I am so sorry for not updating. I am lazy, aint nothing new about that. Forgive me.

So, lets talk about the topic. To curse or not to curse? I am a great believer in cursing Nigerian politicians, up to their sixth generations. I refuse to make friends with kids of politicians. I know someone that I will never date. I told him, there is no way in hell I would date him, simply because his dad was/is a politician. I know how many people have rained curses on him. Even me sef, I have. So why on earth will I want to fi ori ko epe (collect curse for my head)?

Someone asked me how that is the politician’s fault. Ok, here is the scenario, as the governor of a state, you decided to steal all the money and put it in your account. You refused to pay civil servants their salaries. Now, a child is brought to the hospital, her parents both work for Ministry of Miserable, they haven’t been paid for six months. The hospital is not fully equipped and it took about 4 hours before they were acknowledged. At this point the child is dead. She died of common stomach ache. Now, who is at fault? The parents for wanting a treatment for their kid? The hospital staffs that were nowhere to be found? Or the governor that decided to better his life and the life of his family alone? If the parents rain curses on the governor and his six generations to come, are they justified? If they say, may the governor never know peace and may all the kids that are their kid’s age, die, are they justified? Probably. When you are in pain, and the pain could have been deviated, if something was done on time, you will definitely feel like cursing any and everybody that could have fixed that problem.

What we sow, we will surely reap. For all the kids that did not go to school, because your dad used the money to send you to school in America; for all the parents that could not afford food, because your mother used their salaries to get a tummy tuck; for all the young men that died from joining bad groups because they couldn’t get a job and have been unemployed for years. For all of these people that all they did was to be unfortunate to be born in Nigeria and your parents caused them agony, may your parents and the next six generations, know agony and may peace never reign in you abode.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Lets talk about NYSC.

I am yet to serve. I finished college in 2005 and the idea of going to Nigeria to serve for a year, did not come to mind. Now, I am thinking of going into politics later in life. Why you might ask? Because I am tired of sitting on the side and watching these lunatics we call leaders, do nothing. I figure, why not try to get inside and see for myself, what the big deal is. If and when I get there, hopefully I will be allowed to make the necessary changes and not be killed or something. Not to worry, I will get back to you all on the happenings.

Now, on the issue of NYSC, I want to serve in Akwa Ibom or Oyo, definitely no Lagos or Abuja. Lived in Lagos for 20 years. Think I have enough of the state. Abuja is quite expensive, so I heard. I am not trying to go broke, just because I want to serve Nigeria. Why Ak? I have heard a lot of good things about the place, so I guess I can go check it out myself. I love peace and quiet. Hope I’ll get it there. Why Oyo? I am from Oyo State. I intend to start my politics from there. On that, I have a question, if I marry someone from Imo State, and I want to contest for a seat in the house, do I represent my home town or my husband’s?

I could go to the far North, but I hate heat. I passionately hate heat. I refuse to move to the south (Texas, Louisiana and co), just because of the heat. Plateau State, mainly Jos, will be a great place. It’s cool and I have friends there.

If you have gone back home to serve or if you are currently serving, (shout out to Nilla), please kindly share your experience with us. Is it really worth it? I intend to move back to the States when I am done. I do not plan to stay behind in Nigeria. Unless some rich man hook me. Just kidding.

Thanks for stopping by.

Living. Loving? That's questionable at this time. Hopefully tori go change in the next post.

Thursday, June 19, 2008


Loving the song playing. Found it on a wedding website.

Better update before the end of the month.

Living and definitely loving.

46 down to just 3. Yayyyy!

Saturday, May 10, 2008


How many of you take time out of your business schedules to volunteer an hour or two for a worthy cause? If you do, great job. I really think it is a great thing to do.

I remember when my sister was between jobs and she was going on how bored she was and what not. I asked her if she had ever been to an orphanage. See, my sister is in Nigeria and I am not. I don’t think the average Nigerian either residing in Nigeria or elsewhere, do a lot of volunteering. It is not because we don’t want to, we just were not brought up like that. We would rather go to church seven times in a week, than for example, go the orphanage down the road and simply read to the kids or paint the walls or something.

Here is a challenge to anyone that reads this, how about you spend an hour or two each month volunteering. Believe me, you will feel good about it. People ask me why I am never bored, trust me, I am never bored. There are a lot of things to do; volunteering is one of those things. Ok, enough about my campaign. LOL.

This weekend, my church hosted the world vision aids experience exhibition. It is kinda difficult to explain, but I will try. It’s a story of four kids living in Africa; Lesotho, Swaziland, Kenya and Uganda. You get to go through a child’s life, what he/she does on a daily basis, how they live, where they live, what happens to their parents etc. At the end of the walk-through, you step into the health clinic to get tested for HIV. You get a red positive sign on the back of your hand, if the child is HIV+ or a black negative sign, if HIV-. Two of the kids tested positive, two don’t. It is so touching and you just have to take yourself out of your own world and step into these kids lives. It is nothing you have experienced before. It is very emotional.

Some of the facts, about 46% of the population in Swaziland have the virus. It is estimated that in our life time, the entire country will cease to exist. Can you imagine, everyone in Oyo State wiped off in your life time? Can you do something? Yes, you can. You can sponsor a child in these countries. Your donation will provide food, education etc for this child.

Africans, Nigerians, this is time we start doing something and stop the plain ass talking. Believe me, that $2500 shoe or bag, will not make you as happy as you think it will. Helping to put a smile on a child’s face is way more rewarding. Take a moment to think about it. Pray about it (you all know we can pray) and do something. Don’t just help with prayers, help with food in their stomach, and help with clean clothes on their backs. I am sure they will be very grateful for all your help.

Above all, get tested. There aint no black or red ink on anyone’s hand for you to know who is positive or negative.

Thanks for stopping by.

Living and definitely loving, in an awesomely beautiful way.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I dey come

I should update, right? Ok, I will. Very soon.

Living and definitely loving.

Monday, March 24, 2008


Question of the day, how do you go about choosing "the one" out of 26?

Answer: You don’t. You just don’t make up your mind. One by one, they’ll leave and hopefully when you are 35 and ready to get married, only one will remain, and that will automatically be “the one”. Just kidding.

I do have 33 guys that can be “the one”. Twenty-six of the guys like me and have made their feelings known. Fourteen are automatically disqualified. Read this post "Too picky or know what I want". Seven guys I do like, five automatically disqualified, once again read this post. ‘Nuff said.

Just got back from a busy weekend. I was the maid of honor/chief bridesmaid at my cousin’s wedding. It was a very busy one. More like a family reunion. Fun time. I don’t think I have ever heard my name called so much. Lady B this, Lady B that. Somehow, they all thought I had answers to all the questions.

The bridal party actually stood throughout the church service. I mean, I was standing on 4 inch heel sandal for about an hour and half. Mehn, the thing no easy o. Me? Na boot I dey wear every day o. I am still in pain sef. Don’t get me wrong, I do rock my high heels (which I shouldn’t, considering my height), but not to stay in one position for about 90 minutes.

Trust Nigerians, everything was done late. Wo, I no even fit gist una about the wedding sef. Just glad it went all great. Happy married life to them.

Now to the koko gist. Y’all know how family gatherings are. Everybody wants to know when you are getting married and all that. My family is no exception. Aunties all want to know when I will get married. Ok, the conversation usually goes like this:

Aunty: So, Lady B, when are you getting married?
Lady B: September 2011.
Aunty: 2011 bawo? Why 2011?
Lady B: You asked when I am getting married, and I told you.
Aunty: 2011 ti pe ju o. (2011 is too far)
Lady B: Says who? You asked for when, I told you. Do you want me to move it to 2016?
Aunty: Iwo omo yi, oni pe mi. (You this child, you’ll not kill me)
Lady B: No o, I don’t want to kill you o.
Aunty: So, why 2011? Se oko ni ko si ni? (Is it that there is no man?)
Lady Bi: Aunty, ni America? Ofe ni okunrin o. (Men are free o).
Aunty and Lady B start to laugh. End of discussion.

Now imagine me doing this with ten different aunties. Funny thing is, my parents aint worried. They don’t even bother me, because they know when I am ready, I am ready. Nothing fit stop me. Mounting pressure on me, will not work. Guess my aunts did not get the memo.

I will do another post on why I know I am not ready to get married. Until then, keep well, live well and above all, be happy.

Living and loving my life!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Question of the day.

Question of the day, how do you go about choosing "the one" out of 26?

I'll be back to expatiate.

Living and loving my life. Nothing do you or me!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Guinea Pig

What’s up people? Long time, I know. I am just a lazy writer o jare. I do have a lot to talk/write about, just a tad lazy. Actually, my friends will argue otherwise, I am very very lazy. Lazy to the point that left to me, I will have a maid. Yes, a maid in the big US of A. Remember o, I am single with no kids and I only work Monday to Friday. 7-4.30pm. Wo, no judge me o jare. At least me, I know what I am, u nko?

Ok, to the real issue at hand. I am sure a lot of us have friends or have heard about someone doing something like calling a girl(guy) that is a friend of their boyfriend or girlfriend and threatening them and all. You know the one girl that your boyfriend is spending time with and you just don’t like her and you want to warn her off him. Ok, so I was thinking, what really goes on in the heads of those girls that do the calling and the ones that are being called. I mean, if a girl calls me to leave her man alone or something like that, I will not even bother exchanging words or give her the time of the day, I’ll just simply hang up, delete the guy's number and that’s the end of it. Now the girl will probably think she won and she scared me off. If only she knows that, that is far from the truth. See the thing here is, I don’t like wahala. I have a pretty great life that I hate, I mean I wholeheartedly hate drama. I will simply stop talking to the said guy, because I hate drama and for a friend of mine to have a girl that will stoop so low to call me and curse me out, then he definitely does not deserve to be called my friend.

Ok, let me give you an example. So last year two of my friends got together. In the beginning life was good, until things started happening. See the guy(J) likes women abi na the other way round. Anyhow, they started having problems. They live in different part of the country and so it was more of a phone relationship and they see once or twice in a month or something like that. One day she(H) got a call from a CG (crazy girl) that was chasing after the guy (according to the story he told me later) and CG was cursing her out and threatening her and stuff. Me, I told her to kuku leave the guy o. See, I have known J for a long time and I did not think he had such people around him. I did not even wait for him to give me an explanation of what happened. Anyways, the girl (H) did not leave him, needless to say, they eventually broke up. Not because of CG but for some other reason. Now, me, I knew they were eventually going to break up. I mean, come on now, how can you stay with someone that sat down, let CG take his phone, found your number, called you, not once or twice, but a lot of time, threaten you right where he is and the most he can say is, I could not do anything to her because I did not want wahala. I mean, is it me or do I just expect too much from the male folks?

Ok , digressing again, not really though. Just building foundation for the real gist. Now, if H had left him then, I am sure CG would have felt like she won and felt good about herself right? And she not leaving, CG probably felt sad or ashamed or humiliated? Because the guy still picked H over her? I mean, people help me here. I am trying to understand these things. So, in order to know for a fact how these girls or guys feel when they call someone to warn them off their girl or guy, I will be your guinea pig. Yes, I will send a mail or call a girl that is dating my ex and threaten her and get back to you on the feedback. Though I don’t know her number. Hmmm, how do I go about that one? Sending a mail is going to leave a paper trail and we know, we don’t want that. And moreover, calling will be more fun, because I can sound very angry and curse her out even better with my Americanized accent. What do you all think?

Seriously though, if you don’t mind sharing with us, could you tell us your experience, either as the caller or the callee. How did you feel? What were you thinking? How did you react? Did you talk it over with the guy/girl involved? I just want to know.

Thanks for reading. I promise not to stay away too long. Ok, I take that promise off. The only thing I can promise is that, I will always be happy and loving my life, no matter the situation. That’s it for now and thanks for stopping by.

Living and loving my life!