Thursday, October 1, 2009

Raining men. CMDs.

I remember entry. Written two years ago. Men, did I get some colorful comments. Some guy said he felt sorry for me and extended his condolences in advance. Another said he didn’t read all the way, but he had two options, either I am joking or I am a lesbian. My reply to the former, thanks and I accepted his condolences. The latter, I am just getting to read his comment.

So let’s have a re-cap. I am still happily single. Have seven serious eligible suitors to choose from. You know, growing up we were told, “oh, when you turn 26, no man will want you, so you better stick with the one you have”. Or “oh, your pool will shrink, because men only want younger women”, and this and that. So here is the question, why the hell am I being chased? What’s the problem here? How come I have more serious I-want-to-marry you men? I mean, my hope is by now, there will be only one miserable man left and I’ll have no choice but to marry him, since I don’t want to die an old maid.

I mean, I have heard everything from, your CMDs are stupid, to you will die an old maid, to no Nigerian man wants a controlling, bitter, head bitch in charge(HBIC).
Something must be wrong with these men around me. I am so sure about that. What do they see? Can’t they see that I am bitter and controlling and generally a HBIC? Wanna hear a secret? It is because I am none of those things. I am a nice person and I do not make any apology for being a nice person. I do not try to tell people how to live their lives. I don’t pretend to know everything. Heck, I just live my life the best way I can and stay happy. So my friends and frenemies, that’s the secret. That’s why it is raining men around me.

I have never believed that a woman should settle. I don’t believe you should spend 40, 50 or even 60 years of your life with someone that you know deep down you didn’t want. Divorcing is not an option for me. Guess what, you can lie to him and others, but you can’t lie to yourself. At the end of the day, we all just want to be happy. That’s why we work, that’s why we exercise, eat right and pray to marry/end up with the right person. The person that you want, not the person you get. Heck, there are people married to the greatest love of their life. Based on what? On, how the person made them feel. Or my parents approved of him or my friends like him and he is cute. The best one, “I won’t end up like her, at least I’ll be married before I turn 30”. And how many of these people are happily married or even married now? I have found out that my friends that didn’t have so many worries about marriage, knew what they wanted and stuck to it and they are the ones happily married. The ones that had a deadline are the ones either cheating on their spouses or already getting a divorce. Now don’t get me wrong, you should definitely have a plan/date in mind. But settling because of a deadline or age? That’s something I will never do. I’ll never suggest that you marry someone based on your fear of ending up an old maid. You know who turn into old maids? People that ain’t realistic. People that are bitter even when alone. People that can’t see the good in anything. These are the people that turn into old maids and no man wants to marry them. If you ain’t Halle Berry, don’t expect to find Will Smith knocking at your door. That aint real. Be realistic!

In conclusion, yes I have my cmds. Yes I am single. Yes I have seven men to choose from. And no, I will not settle. Age or what have you; will not let me change my mind on my core cmds. I have them for a reason.

On that note, take care. Be happy. Do what makes you happy and above all, be nice to yourself and others!

Living and definitely loving my awesomely magnificent life!