Fives

Likes:
Sunny Ade on full blast
Old letters. Hand written ones
Fireplace
HGTV
Red shoes

Dislikes:
Obesere
Cards with no special notes
Electric furnace
MTV
Purple shoes

If I could...

... design a man, he will be 6'5" tall. Weigh about 200lbs. A leftie. Can sketch/draw anything. He will have a great job. Be wonderful with a camera. Speak only when spoken to, not a class clown. Great listener. Be respectful. A big family to him, will be terrific. Above all, he will have a great set of teeth.

Here's my judgement.

Punishment for cheating husbands? Death!

Fives

Likes:
Oya - my lovely, sweet cat.
Room temperature set at 60F
Red cherry lipstick
Tiger's response
Efo riro with orisirisi

Dislikes:
Sango - my other cat. Oya's son. He crazy!
Negative degrees. I don't want to freeze
Purple lipstick
Aproko people. Mind your own business. Bunch of cheating idiots!
Ogbono soup

Raining men. CMDs.

I remember http://minexclusively.blogspot.com/2007/10/too-picky-or-know-what-i-want.html entry. Written two years ago. Men, did I get some colorful comments. Some guy said he felt sorry for me and extended his condolences in advance. Another said he didn’t read all the way, but he had two options, either I am joking or I am a lesbian. My reply to the former, thanks and I accepted his condolences. The latter, I am just getting to read his comment.

So let’s have a re-cap. I am still happily single. Have seven serious eligible suitors to choose from. You know, growing up we were told, “oh, when you turn 26, no man will want you, so you better stick with the one you have”. Or “oh, your pool will shrink, because men only want younger women”, and this and that. So here is the question, why the hell am I being chased? What’s the problem here? How come I have more serious I-want-to-marry you men? I mean, my hope is by now, there will be only one miserable man left and I’ll have no choice but to marry him, since I don’t want to die an old maid.

I mean, I have heard everything from, your CMDs are stupid, to you will die an old maid, to no Nigerian man wants a controlling, bitter, head bitch in charge(HBIC).
Something must be wrong with these men around me. I am so sure about that. What do they see? Can’t they see that I am bitter and controlling and generally a HBIC? Wanna hear a secret? It is because I am none of those things. I am a nice person and I do not make any apology for being a nice person. I do not try to tell people how to live their lives. I don’t pretend to know everything. Heck, I just live my life the best way I can and stay happy. So my friends and frenemies, that’s the secret. That’s why it is raining men around me.

I have never believed that a woman should settle. I don’t believe you should spend 40, 50 or even 60 years of your life with someone that you know deep down you didn’t want. Divorcing is not an option for me. Guess what, you can lie to him and others, but you can’t lie to yourself. At the end of the day, we all just want to be happy. That’s why we work, that’s why we exercise, eat right and pray to marry/end up with the right person. The person that you want, not the person you get. Heck, there are people married to the greatest love of their life. Based on what? On, how the person made them feel. Or my parents approved of him or my friends like him and he is cute. The best one, “I won’t end up like her, at least I’ll be married before I turn 30”. And how many of these people are happily married or even married now? I have found out that my friends that didn’t have so many worries about marriage, knew what they wanted and stuck to it and they are the ones happily married. The ones that had a deadline are the ones either cheating on their spouses or already getting a divorce. Now don’t get me wrong, you should definitely have a plan/date in mind. But settling because of a deadline or age? That’s something I will never do. I’ll never suggest that you marry someone based on your fear of ending up an old maid. You know who turn into old maids? People that ain’t realistic. People that are bitter even when alone. People that can’t see the good in anything. These are the people that turn into old maids and no man wants to marry them. If you ain’t Halle Berry, don’t expect to find Will Smith knocking at your door. That aint real. Be realistic!

In conclusion, yes I have my cmds. Yes I am single. Yes I have seven men to choose from. And no, I will not settle. Age or what have you; will not let me change my mind on my core cmds. I have them for a reason.

On that note, take care. Be happy. Do what makes you happy and above all, be nice to yourself and others!

Living and definitely loving my awesomely magnificent life!

Reasons I can't move to Nigeria.

Maybe this will make me blog more often. Needless to say this is just my opinion. I believe that people that moved back to Nigeria, have or had a good reason to do so.

Reason 1:
You can't tell your boss he stinks. Jokingly or not.

Lesson of life

As I walk through life:
I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. Very true!

I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned that heroes are people who do what has to be done, when it needs to be done, regardless of consequences.

I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experience you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthday’s you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people who you aren’t related to, can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned that we don’t have to change friends, if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned that your life can be changed in a matter of minutes, by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

Truth

Do we really like the truth? Really? Do we like knowing the truth? Or we just say it to make ourselves feel better. We have all heard the saying; the truth will/shall set you free. We also know the truth is usually bitter. So if truth is usually bitter, why would we want to know? I know I do not like bitter food or drinks, even though it might be healthy, I still don’t want to eat or drink it. So why do we like knowing the truth? Or why do we not like knowing the truth?

I believe the truth should be said at all time. Let’s have some examples, so a girl that weighs 175lbs puts on a top two sizes smaller. I mean, she is squeezing herself into this top. Now, she is your friend and she asks, how do I look in this? You know she looks ridiculous in it, do you go ahead and tell her that or you just smile and say, you look great? Now, let us put a new twist to this, this same girl has been trying to lose weight for about a year and you know she has been struggling to lose this weight. She is doing her best, though you think she could do more to lose the weight. Does that change your response? Do you really want to tell her the truth knowing it will hurt her or do you just lie your way out to make her feel good?

Another example, since I have started reading blogs, I have noticed a trend. Actually, it is not just blogging; I have noticed it in a lot of Nigerian forums/blogs. Someone writes something and you the reader strongly think that the person needs a slap on his/her face. You know that if you write the truth about how you feel, you might be labeled a hater. Heck, they might even start saying stuff about you. (I personally know a lot of bloggers and I have heard things). Now, do you just move along and not write a comment or you say, f it, I am going to say my mind. Ok, an example will help here. So I was reading a blog the other time, and this chic lied about something that was life-threatening. I personally did not think it was funny at all. I mean, I was livid like this was happening to me. Now, the first commentor on the blog, thought it was funny. His/her first word on the comment was LOL. Is she laughing because she thinks it is funny that someone just lied about something that could have killed another person or she is laughing because she is scared of speaking the truth? Did the writer write in her blog/diary so others can pat her in the back for a job well done, or she wrote to remind herself never to lie again? Reading the blog, I did not feel any kind of remorse from her. As a matter of fact, I think she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with what she did.

What is happening to our generation? Why is it so difficult to tell the truth? Why is it just so easy to lie? What happened to our conscience? Have we told so many lies, that we don’t even know how to tell the truth anymore? Or have we gotten away with a lot of lies, that we believe we can never be caught?

Here is one of my favorite sayings, if you will not tell me the truth, then don’t tell me at all. I am not a saint, but lying is one sin I find very hard to forgive. I believe you, I believe everything you say, I trust you, until you prove otherwise. I do not go snooping around to catch you in your lie, because I believe that the truth always, always, always come out at the end. You might think you are safe, but if it is something that I need to know and/or something that is life –threatening, then I will always find out.

Living and definitely loving my beautiful life. Won’t have it any other way!

Rich and romantic?

Rich and romantic men

Men, those fine species of God creation! Let’s not lie to ourselves, ladies, we know how we feel when we have the attention of a fine man. Now, fine/handsome/good looking is relative. ‘Nuff said.

Anyone here saw the first episode of this season’s Bachelorette? Wow is all I can say. Never been a fan of white boys/men, but my o my! Those were some good looking men. If I wasn’t so in love with my culture, I will gladly go find me a white boy to date. Maybe date, but definitely not marry jare. I no want wahala.

That said, I have been noticing a new trend, Black/African ladies marrying white men. From my little research (if you can call it that sef), I seem to know more black/African men married to white women. Seems times are changing. I have no beef either way. I think us ladies are beginning to get really comfortable and realize that love can be found anywhere.

I have dated almost all the major races, Asian, Caucasian, Negro, and Hispanic. I have no problem dating outside of my race. As a matter of fact, it helps reaffirm my belief, that only a Nigerian man can be my husband. That said, I can say one thing that we all might have heard or read about over time, white men can/are romantic. I mean, someone practically worshipping you. Come on, who won’t feel on top of the world? It was weird in the beginning, because I do not think I am all that, but after a while, you get used to it. It is just the way they are. That is not to say, there ain’t crazy white men out there. Don’t get me wrong, Nigerian/African men can/are romantic as well. It just feels different. From a white man, it looks like he was born with it, from a black man, it looks like he is learning or trying. It just doesn’t feel the same.

That said, I love me my black men. Nigerian to be precise. No need to be sugarcoating things o jare. I am just too old to be politically correct. If you no like, no read, chikena.

Now there is another set of men that I have not been opportune to date yet. The ultra rich men. And by that, I mean men that actually worked to make their money. Not some governor’s son or some senator or some polithief. I mean, someone that did the work, used his brain, and he is bloody rich. Not a thosandanaire or someone that has to wake up and go to work at a specific time. I am talking about someone that goes to work when he wants to, doesn’t use drugs, and doesn’t throw his money everywhere, a simple, rich guy. I wonder on a scale of romance, where do these kinds of men fall? Are they equally as passionate with their women as they are with their job? Do they excel in relationships as much as they do their work? Do they take pride in their women? Just questions.

Anyways, enough of my rambling, I am sure in five years, I will come back here and be like, what the heck was I thinking writing this.

I had a totally different post in mind, but this just seemed appropriate after watching the bachelorette for the first time.

Like always, living and loving my awesomely delicious life!

Six months...

Wow it's been six months I posted. I have a post in my head. I'll be sure to post it tomorrow. Maybe I can be consistent in blogging. Seriously doubt that.

As always, living and definitely loving!