Do we really like the truth? Really? Do we like knowing the truth? Or we just say it to make ourselves feel better. We have all heard the saying; the truth will/shall set you free. We also know the truth is usually bitter. So if truth is usually bitter, why would we want to know? I know I do not like bitter food or drinks, even though it might be healthy, I still don’t want to eat or drink it. So why do we like knowing the truth? Or why do we not like knowing the truth?
I believe the truth should be said at all time. Let’s have some examples, so a girl that weighs 175lbs puts on a top two sizes smaller. I mean, she is squeezing herself into this top. Now, she is your friend and she asks, how do I look in this? You know she looks ridiculous in it, do you go ahead and tell her that or you just smile and say, you look great? Now, let us put a new twist to this, this same girl has been trying to lose weight for about a year and you know she has been struggling to lose this weight. She is doing her best, though you think she could do more to lose the weight. Does that change your response? Do you really want to tell her the truth knowing it will hurt her or do you just lie your way out to make her feel good?
Another example, since I have started reading blogs, I have noticed a trend. Actually, it is not just blogging; I have noticed it in a lot of Nigerian forums/blogs. Someone writes something and you the reader strongly think that the person needs a slap on his/her face. You know that if you write the truth about how you feel, you might be labeled a hater. Heck, they might even start saying stuff about you. (I personally know a lot of bloggers and I have heard things). Now, do you just move along and not write a comment or you say, f it, I am going to say my mind. Ok, an example will help here. So I was reading a blog the other time, and this chic lied about something that was life-threatening. I personally did not think it was funny at all. I mean, I was livid like this was happening to me. Now, the first commentor on the blog, thought it was funny. His/her first word on the comment was LOL. Is she laughing because she thinks it is funny that someone just lied about something that could have killed another person or she is laughing because she is scared of speaking the truth? Did the writer write in her blog/diary so others can pat her in the back for a job well done, or she wrote to remind herself never to lie again? Reading the blog, I did not feel any kind of remorse from her. As a matter of fact, I think she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with what she did.
What is happening to our generation? Why is it so difficult to tell the truth? Why is it just so easy to lie? What happened to our conscience? Have we told so many lies, that we don’t even know how to tell the truth anymore? Or have we gotten away with a lot of lies, that we believe we can never be caught?
Here is one of my favorite sayings, if you will not tell me the truth, then don’t tell me at all. I am not a saint, but lying is one sin I find very hard to forgive. I believe you, I believe everything you say, I trust you, until you prove otherwise. I do not go snooping around to catch you in your lie, because I believe that the truth always, always, always come out at the end. You might think you are safe, but if it is something that I need to know and/or something that is life –threatening, then I will always find out.
Living and definitely loving my beautiful life. Won’t have it any other way!
4 comments:
yeah we do do that on blogville!!
I understand where you are coming from with this post. I don't disagree with the general 'thesis', but can't help but proffer a basic rationale for the trend.
About 2 years ago, blogging went from being fun to being terrible. There were anons running rampant and, in my opinion, they tormented certain bloggers and forced people to lose their 'safe space' (blogs). I think that definitely transformed blogging somewhat in our community. What it also did was it reinforced the notion that it is better to not rock the boat out of fear of the possible consequence. As a result, some bloggers would rather encourage than criticize (even when such criticism is necessary), pay platitudes than have an honest conversation, or simply remain quiet.
If you consider that this possibility has merit, one can thus understand the trend you discuss in your post.
This trend, despite it reality, does reflect, as you suggest, a larger cultural behavior/attitude amongst our people, but it is definitely not unique to us by any means. Nevertheless, the key is to create an atmosphere where we can be real with each other, respectfully disagree and enlighten one another with our differing views. How do we get there?
Personally, at one of my blogs, I allow anonymous comments. I believe that being anonymous encourages certain readers to reveal their true feelings without the burden that they might offend me. (Truth is, I am so not easily offended. Nobody has to ever agree with my views). If anything, at that blog (Nigerian Curiosity), we tend to have quite vigorous debates and frankly, readers will outright yap me, if they don't agree. Wetin woman go do? =)
Anyway, I need to stop because this was a supposed to be a simple response that has now turned into an essay. I just wanted to make this discussion a bit more complex because so many bloggers raise this issue with me and all I ever have to say is that we as writers have to groom our readers to disagree and have their own opinions. When your readers have faith that their contrary views will also be respected, there is a sense of safety which will limit the 'fake praise' and what not.
And, again, I really must stop here.
Thanks for raising this salient topic!
Thanks for stopping by pink satin.
SSD, I have been reading blogs for a long time, I definitely remembered the days when the anons tormented bloggers. I do agree with your points as well. Thanks for stopping by.
Basically, we Naija people have a lot of 'home training' and we tend to be polite in all situations so as not to appear nasty.
Case in point is that most people - even bloggers- cannot criticize in their own names, they come as Anons to criticize and say nasty things.
I think its that residual 'home training' in us. As they say, truth is bitter.
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